Store Policy
Customer Care
The purpose of this section is to state our intention as a company to serve our customers with absolutely no care whatsoever. We don't care. Don't take it personally, it has nothing to do with you rather, we just don't want to be bothered for shit, so leave us alone, whatever your problem or concern is, please just find a dark moist hole on your body to stuff it.
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That being said, we do want you to have the most excellent time while enjoying our bullshit. By all means, don't do anything that isn't fun. Do try the mushrooms and the LSD. C'mon, don't be a pussy, just a little.
Privacy & Safety
Ah, what can we say about privacy. Well, Xtupid Alex likes to masturbate in public. Susan Love has a whole black book full of the twisted sex parties she's been involved in, and I think she intends to publish it on Amazon. If you get Vince drunk, which is easy, but it takes a lot of beer, but he'll totally drink it if you give it to him, then he like opens up and just starts telling you all the most fucked up things that happened to him as a kid and the weird shit he did when he was getting all fucked up in the head. It's really twisted. Anyway, as a band who basically takes pride in exposing our most shameful secret experiences, you would think we wouldn't care about your privacy, but that's actually not true.
The truth is we would never share or sell your info to any company or person or any shit like that so don't worry. We want you to enjoy being a subscriber, But personally, just between you and me, I think you're being paranoid about all this internet privacy and safety bullshit, so just take a xanax, and drink a beer. Push play and kick back with an episode of the Xuper punktoniX Podcast.
Wholesale Inquiries
If you are a store and you want to sell Xuper punktoniX Merch, yay, ok, whatever, just email our dumb business guy sellout@XuperpunktoniX.com and he will be happy to take your money for us.
Payment Methods
- Credit / Debit Cards
- PAYPAL
- Cash App
- Drugs
- Alcohol
- We will consider sex (send nudes)
- Pizza, Tacos, Beer, Same as Cash.
- We will also accept old gift cards or stolen EBT cards.
- Potato chips, and Mexican food like California Burritos, all day long.
- If you give us IN-N-OUT it will make you really happy to see how much we enjoy.